The housing news goes from bad to worse to horrendous. Today’s nightmare scenario is that house sales have now slowed to their lowest level since 1974. The Royal Institution of Chartered Surveyors predicts sales will go down by 40% in 2008 – a drop of almost 750,000.

Getting a mortgage is a nightmare. Apparently the number of mortgages on offer has fallen from 68,000 a year ago to a paltry 16,000 now. Who would want one anyway? The average two-year fixed rate mortgage is now at an 8 year high of 6.44%

It’s time for some drastic action on my part. My friend Victor, who sold up in London and moved to Cheltenham, had his house on the market for 2 years.  Yes, TWO YEARS! I simply do not have that sort of time to play with.

His advice - BUY LILIES. 

Lots and lots of lilies.

After two desperate years of no offers, he read an article which said you should fill your house with lilies if you want to sell. 

After doing so -  the very next day he got an offer. 

Lilies it is then!